THE JOURNEY ALL NEED TO TAKE ...

I believe that the Lord allows things to happen to help us develop certain attributes, or to position us in life for something better or greater, and to help us learn something important and necessary. I also believe that we often get in the Lord’s way with our decision-making and cause outcomes that He never wanted for us; but because of His gift of free will, He lets us make those choices. When I began talking with the Lord about my life, who I was, who I was supposed to be, I realized that I had to be ready to hear things I did not want to hear, as well as the things I wanted to hear. I realized that if I was going to pursue truth, if I was going to take that journey, then I had to be prepared for an unknown percentage of fault to come and rest on my shoulders. I had an abusive stepdad, my parents were divorced and remarried three times each, we were shuffled around from town to town, my mom abandoned us kids for years (my relationship with her is fully restored because the Lord helped me to truly forgive her, and because she made the necessary changes in her life), and I could go on with other difficulties I faced.

There was plenty of legitimate blame to go around to others; however, I realized that I had to be truly, sincerely, "gloves-off", eyes-open, brutally honest with myself and braced to except whatever revelations of my own guilt and responsibility for my life and personality/character that the Lord would help me understand. I set out on that journey, with the Lord’s help, and after many tears, and admissions, and realizing how much hurt was buried in the hidden, locked-door caverns of my heart, and after realizing that I needed to forgive more people than I even remembered hurting me … I found peace, freedom, and a new me. I did not have to try to “act” like a new me – it was the natural change that happens to us when we reach inside and scrape out the hurts, fears, and unforgiveness towards others and ourselves.

I had to admit in many situations, that even if I was only 30%, or 20%, or even 1% at fault in a situation - I still had fault. I started seeing self-induced patterns in my life that were harmful to me, and I began to see situations and outcomes that could have been avoided altogether, or at the least mitigated, if I had acted and reacted differently. It also became much easier to see how the baggage inside of me due to all I had been through indirectly, and often enough directly, influenced my actions and reactions. If only I had taken that journey sooner, I would not have wasted so much time being a hurt version of my truly “at peace” self. 

What did I do? How did I start the journey? I basically asked the Lord to be my therapist and help me psycho-analyze myself; and He did, and I’m grateful. The journey was not easy. Facing the dark parts of oneself, the parts that we often keep busy to avoid admitting are there, the parts that seem too painful to relive, rehash, or rehearse can be terrifying. I promise you though, once your journey is under way, you will immediately begin to see the benefit and feel the incremental liberation. 

I love you and want you all to know the emotional and mental freedom that is in Christ. My hope is that this testimony awakens, stirs, and provokes all of you who have not already taken this journey, to muster the courage to do so. Discover truth, discover who you truly are, take the Lord's hand and take the journey. 
                                              Baaron (LifeGroup Director)